Always And Forever
by Midnight Maiden
Summary: CHAP 7! Daine leaves Numair and dissapears. Will she ever come back? (probably!) But when she does, a tangled web of politics and corruption in Scanra adopts her.
1. Chap 1 A Dashboard Confessional

Always And Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all characters and the song is "Screaming Infidelities" by Dashboard Confessionals. )  
  
Numair Salmalin sat in the conference room with the king. It was rather dull without Daine by his side. Bunches of nobles jabbering about everything he wasn't interested. She had chosen not to come. Lucky her she could do that. Coming to all conferences was her choice. Today she had decided a ride with Cloud would be more interesting.  
  
"What do you think, Numair?" Jonathan asked him.  
  
He snapped back to reality. "What?"  
  
"It's good to no you were listening so intently," the king commented sarcastically. "This meeting is over."  
  
~Oh good~ Numair thought. ~Finally~. He walked as quickly as he could back to the rooms. He was tired and was looking for a good night's sleep. And seeing Daine, of course.  
  
When he opened the door there was no welcoming chirp from Kit. She hardly ever went with Daine and Cloud. He looked around more closely and saw that all of Daine's things were gone. The drawers were empty and the shelves bare of everything that was hers.  
  
He ran as fast as he could to the stables. She would never leave without Cloud. Stephan was petting that God-awful horse Peachblossom. "Where is she?" he demanded of the hostler.  
  
"Sorry Numair, she's gone."  
  
"No." Numair ran his hands through his hair. It was impossible. "She can't be gone. She would never leave."  
  
"She did. Let her go. She'll come back."  
  
Days passed and hi love did not return. He couldn't sleep at night. He missed the company he always had had in her. She had been his before she had even known he loved her and now she was gone. At night he hugged the sheets around him, imagining their warmth as hers. She had left him alone.  
  
***I'm missing you bad  
  
I never sleep  
  
Avoiding the spots  
  
Where we'd have to speak  
  
And this bottle of beast  
  
Is taking me home***  
  
***I'm cuddling close  
  
To blankets and sheets  
  
But you're not alone  
  
And you're not discreet  
  
Make sure I know  
  
Who's taking you home***  
  
One day a bird flew through his window and landed on his knee. For a moment he wished it was her, but it had a letter around its foot. He peeled it off and read it. What it said crushed his heart. It confirmed exactly what he had feared. She had left and wasn't coming back.  
  
All he could do all day was sit and read the note over and over. What had he been thinking anyway? He was an old man next to her. He could be her father. He could never be her lover like he'd hoped.  
  
***I'm reading your note  
  
Over again  
  
And there's not a word  
  
That I comprehend  
  
Except when you signed it  
  
'I will love you  
  
Always and forever'***  
  
Some one knocked on his door, but he didn't answer it. He didn't want company. Unfortunately the red head that had been waiting behind the door let herself in.  
  
"Go away, Alanna." He didn't even bother to look at her. He wanted to be alone.  
  
"Numair, you have to come out and you have to eat. We're worried about you." She sat beside him and put an arm around his shoulder. "We all miss Daine, but she's gone Numair. No one can force her to come home."  
  
"I know, but I thought she didn't care. I thought she was in love with me. I asked her to marry me!" He got up and started to pace.  
"When the most powerful mage in Tortall is ready to grow up, the king is waiting for him." With that Alanna left.  
  
***Well as for now  
  
I'm gonna hear the saddest songs  
  
And sit alone and wonder  
  
How you're making out  
  
And as for me  
  
I wish that I was anywhere  
  
With any one  
  
Making out***  
  
***I'm missing your laugh  
  
How did it break  
  
And when did your eyes  
  
Begin to look fake  
  
I hope you're as happy  
  
As you're pretending***  
  
Numair received another letter from Daine saying that she was fine and not to worry about her. He wished he could grow up, but he missed her too badly. How could he not have seen this coming? What had he missed? Or had she just hidden it well? Had it been planned or sporadic?  
  
Alanna had visited him again, but nothing could make him feel better; except her. She always made him better. Until she came home there would be nothing good in his life. He would just sit by himself, worrying about her. The thought that she was somewhere with someone terrified him. Was she really okay? Was she safe where she was? How could he be sure of he wasn't there?  
  
***I'm cuddling close  
  
To blankets and sheets  
  
And I am alone  
  
In my defeat  
  
Wish I knew  
  
You were safely at home***  
  
*** I'm missing your bed  
  
I never sleep  
  
Avoiding the spots  
  
Where we'd have to speak  
  
And this bottle of beast  
  
Is taking me home***  
  
Finally he decided to attend dinner with other people. He was quickly tiring of solitude. As he walked into the dining hall all eyes came to him. He knew he had been amongst the missing for days, but he didn't know so many had noticed. He chose to ignore it and sat down. People talked to him, but he didn't talk to them. He didn't feel like it. Someone placed meat on his plate, but he pushed it aside. He couldn't eat it.  
  
He sulked back to his room after eating. He couldn't stand the fact that Daine was moving on and he was stuck in the past. No one would ever interest him again. What was she doing wherever she was?  
  
***Well as for now  
  
I'm gonna hear the saddest songs  
  
And sit alone and wonder  
  
How you're making out  
  
And as for me  
  
I wish that I was anywhere  
  
With anyone  
  
Making out***  
  
*** Your hair, it's everywhere  
  
Screaming infidelities  
  
And taking it's wear*** x4  
  
That's my Daine/Numair fic. Never fear it will all work out. I love Numair *Hint**Hint*. Besides I do believe another chapter is in order. And if Daine/Numair isn't your cup of tea, I have a Kel/Cleon, A Kel/Roald, A Kel/Neal, a Briar/Sandry, a Will/Lyra(HDM), and an Amalthea/Lir(Last Unicorn). Plus I have a Sakura/Yue(Cardcaptors) on the way. Please review. I am dying to know what you think! Thanx ^_^Midnight Maiden^_^ 


	2. Chap 2 It's All Coming Back To Me

Always And Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all characters. Song: "It's All Coming Back To Me" By: Celine Dion.)  
  
As much as she didn't want to Daine had to return to Corus. Nearly all of the horses in the capital had been infected with a life-threatening virus called West Nile. She had been tracked down and summoned to come heal it. In fairness to her hooved friends she could not refuse. But she had wanted to. Numair would be waiting for her; or he would be angry.  
  
But she'd had to leave him. It was her only choice. It wasn't fair what she had been doing to him. She'd had to relieve him of raising a little girl. Sure, he said he would never see her that way, but he would. Knowing Numair he would never say a thing about it and make himself stay with her. How could she possibly do that to him?  
  
Nights had been so cold and the days so long. She'd forced herself to forget. It was the only way she could keep herself from crying herself to sleep. She made herself erase all the memories she had with him. It had taken nearly the whole year she had been away, but she had manages to push everything to the back of her mind. Now she had to go back, and she caught herself remembering.  
  
***There were nights  
  
When the wind was so cold  
  
That my body froze in bed  
  
If I just listened to it  
  
Right outside my window***  
  
***There were days  
  
When the sun was so cruel  
  
That all the tears turned to dust  
  
And I knew that my eyes  
  
Were drying up forever***  
  
Daine walked into the throne room with her head held as high as she could manage. She almost choked when she saw Numair standing next to Thayet. He was staring at her. There was something in his eyes she could never believe would ever be there; sorrow. She did her best to ignore him and looked at Jonathan.  
  
"I'm glad you're back," he started. ~Temporarily,~ she thought. "Onua is waiting for you in the stables."  
  
After they had hugged and said hello Onua put her to work. She found the virus in these ponies was fairly easy to fight so she could do more before she wore out. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. She could finish and leave.  
  
After hours, when she had just finished a dun gelding Onua tapped on her shoulder. "Daine, it's late. You should get some rest." She handed her a key. "You'll be rooming next to Alanna."  
  
When Daine walked into her she saw the red headed knight already sitting on her bed. Alanna tapped the spot next to her indicating for Daine to sit. She did.  
  
"Daine, tell me what happened."  
  
She buried her face in her knees. She would never escape the past if people made her remember it. "I don't want to talk about it."  
  
Daine remembered that day. She'd cried so hard before she'd left, knowing she'd lied to her love and was now going to leave him. She ran off on Cloud and didn't spill another tear on his behalf. She wasn't sure when she'd decided it just was somehow. Like the first step to forgetting.  
  
***I finished crying  
  
In the instant that I left  
  
And I can't remember  
  
Where or when or how  
  
And I banished every memory  
  
You and I had ever made***  
  
"I need air." Daine stalked away, leaving Alanna's question unanswered. She decided seeing Cloud might make her feel better. When she got there Numair was standing against the fence. Damn him! He'd been waiting for her!  
  
She stopped in her tracks. "Daine, come here," he ordered. Just like Numair, to be so demanding that you had to listen, but still gentle and soft.  
  
She wanted to refuse; to turn and run away, but she couldn't. She'd never been able to. She walked up to him, eyes glued firmly to the ground. Then two arms wrapped around her, pulling her against a warm chest.  
  
Memories flashed through her head. She'd never wanted to leave this. She hugged him fiercely, clinging to him with all her strength. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she pressed her face into his chest.  
  
***But when you touch me like this  
  
And you hold me like that  
  
I just have to admit  
  
That it's all coming back to me  
  
When I touch you like this  
  
And I hold you like that  
  
It's so hard to believe but  
  
It's all coming back to me  
  
It's all coming back  
  
It's all coming back to me now***  
  
A memory of midsummer filled her mind. He'd never looked so handsome. He led her on the dance floor and twirled hr around, holding her close to him. No body was around then anymore. Just the two of them, dancing on the clouds. Then it had stopped. He took her hand and led her outside. He'd kissed her warmly held her tight.  
  
Then news came of a band of killer centaurs. Both of them had run off in their formal attire and joined the battle. The ballroom dress was an awful nuisance in trying to shape-change. She'd nearly gotten herself killed until she became a mouse just to get herself out of that wretched gown.  
  
She found herself smiling. Both of them had ruined their clothes and gotten a few new scars, but they'd won out in the end.  
  
***There were moments of gold  
  
And there were flashes of light  
  
There were things I'd never do again  
  
But then they'd always seemed right  
  
There were nights in just your comfort  
  
A love that shouldn't be allowed***  
  
He pulled her chin up and made her look at him. That look was still in his eyes, but now it was mixed with a kind of happiness. "Daine," he whispered, "I love you." Then he kissed her. She deepened his passion, remembering what she used to have. Inside she screamed, NO! She wanted to fall to her knees and cover her ears, to drown him out. But she couldn't do it. "Stay with me," he whispered.  
  
***If you kiss me like this  
  
And if you whisper like that  
  
It was lost long ago  
  
But it's all coming back to me  
  
If you want me like this  
  
And if you need me like that  
  
It was dead long ago  
  
But it's all coming back to me  
  
It's so hard to resist  
  
But it's all coming back to me  
  
I can barely recall  
  
But it's all coming back to me now.  
  
But it's all coming back***  
  
She knew Numair had thought he meant what he said, but he couldn't. There was no way he could truly love her. He'd promised her forever and she knew he would stand true to those promises, but he would be living in misery, wanting something else. Besides, she wasn't capable of loving him. She wasn't capable of loving anyone. She couldn't even tell him that she wanted to marry him. But here he was, kissing her like she'd never left. She had to leave.  
  
***There were those  
  
Empty words and hollow lies  
  
And whenever you tired to love me  
  
I just hurt you even worse  
  
And so much deeper***  
  
***There were hours  
  
That just went on for days  
  
When alone at last  
  
We'd count up all the chances  
  
That were lost to us forever***  
  
"I can't." Tears flew down her cheeks as she tried to turn him away. She had before; she could do it again.  
  
"Why?" he asked. He had no anger or frustration in his voice, just gentleness and caring.  
  
"I...I would only hurt you, trap you somewhere you don't want to be." She wanted him to kiss her and hug her, and then she didn't.  
  
"You couldn't. I know you think you could, but you couldn't."  
  
He kissed her again, pulling her up against her as if he was trying to convince her. She tangled her hands in his hair, knowing this was where she belonged. She just hoped Numair knew what he was getting himself into. She hoped he would tell her if he wanted something different. He pulled away but she brought him back, never wanted him to go.  
  
***But you were history  
  
With a ride in the wind  
  
And I made myself  
  
So strong again somehow  
  
And I never wasted any of my time  
  
On you since then***  
  
***But if I touch you like this  
  
And if you kiss me like that  
  
It was so long ago  
  
But it's all coming back to me  
  
If you touch me like this  
  
And I kiss you like that  
  
It was gone with the wind  
  
But it's all coming back to me  
  
It's all coming back  
  
It's all coming back to me now***  
  
Then something she had never wanted to see again came back to her. She was caught in deadly web, nearly all of her strength gone. Spidrens were all around her, ready to kill her and eat her. But then one blew up, just disappeared. Numair fought off two of then and her darking killed the final. When he'd found her he'd kissed her for the first time. He'd told her he loved her for the first time. She'd known then she would always be with him. He'd taken care of her and then asked her to marry him.  
  
"What's wrong love?" He asked, concerned.  
  
She smiled up at him. "I was thinking of the Realm of the Gods."  
  
"Oh, that." Numair kissed her again, trying to secure that memory as the right thing.  
  
***There were moments of gold  
  
And there were flashes of light  
  
There were things we'd never do again  
  
But then they'd always seemed right  
  
There were nights in just your comfort  
  
A love that shouldn't be allowed  
  
Baby, Baby, Baby***  
  
She snuggled her head under his neck, breathing deep. He seemed content to hold her. He didn't seem to need an explanation to her departure. She was glad. She didn't want to explain it she just wanted to stay like this.  
  
"Then you're okay with me being so young?" She didn't even look at him, just snuggled closer.  
  
"Forever. And you don't mind me being an old man?"  
  
She pushed her nose to his. "Old men don't kiss like that, Numair."  
  
***When you touch me like this  
  
And when you hold me like that  
  
It was gone with the wind  
  
But it's all coming back to me  
  
When you see me like this  
  
And When I see you like that  
  
Then we see what we want to see  
  
All coming back to me  
  
The flesh and the fantasies  
  
All coming back to me  
  
I can barely recall  
  
But it's all coming back to me now***  
  
***If you forgive me all this  
  
If I forgive you all that  
  
We forgive and forget  
  
And it's all coming back to me  
  
When you see me like this  
  
And when I see you like that  
  
Then we just see what we want to see  
  
All coming back to me  
  
The flesh and the fantasies  
  
All coming back to me  
  
I can barely recall  
  
But it's all coming back to me now***  
  
Daine couldn't leave now. Not that she really had any thing to go back for. Everything was fine with Numair now, but soon all the questions would come. She would have to apologize for leaving without telling anyone. She looked up at Numair and smiled. It would be worth it.  
  
***It's all coming back to me now  
  
And when you kiss me like this  
  
It's all coming back to me now  
  
And when I touch you like that  
  
It's all coming back to me now  
  
If you do it like this  
  
It's all coming back to me now  
  
And if we...***  
  
Yeah! I finished. Please leave me a review letting me know what you think. Gosh this song was sooooo long. Oh well it was worth it. I think there will be another chapter but I might just leave it here. I might be inspired if I get 15 reviews. *HINT*HINT* Food for thought anyway. Thanx ^_^Midnight Maiden^_^ 


	3. Chap 3 How Can You Forgive Me

Always And Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all characters)  
  
Daine woke up in a warm bed with warm sheets all around her. Funny, she thought, I don't even remember falling asleep. She rolled over to see Numair lying next to her. She jumped up, startling Numair awake.  
  
"What?" he asked groggily.  
  
"How did I get here? I didn't- We- I mean"  
  
Numair quieted her with a hand over her mouth. "You fell asleep so I brought you back. Take a look, you're fully clothed."  
  
Well she felt like an idiot. "Sorry, I just haven't shared a bed with any one for over a year."  
  
"Oh really?" He asked eyebrows raised.  
  
She blushed. "No, I didn't seem to have any interest in anyone else." It was true. People had tried, but she'd had to let them all down. She supposed it was her love for Numair that she didn't even realize she had.  
  
He pulled her up against him. "Well, that's good to know."  
  
Some one knocked on the door and Daine fled to the closet. Daine and Numair were supposed to be apart; this would not look good.  
  
"Have you seen Daine?" It was Alanna. "I'm worried about her."  
  
"Why would I have seen her?" Good acting. "Check the stables."  
  
"You haven't even looked for her?" Alanna wasn't buying it.  
  
"I did, but she wouldn't talk to me. She'll probably listen to you."  
  
As soon as Alanna left Daine came out. Numair kissed her softly and whispered in her ear. "I recommend you get down to the stables. She'll be waiting."  
  
"You're right." Daine jumped out the window and ran to the stables. She could probably get there first. When she got there no one was around. She jumped into Cloud's pasture. ~*Lay down and pretend to be asleep*~ She told the pony silently.  
  
~*Why?*~ Cloud asked, always skeptical.  
  
~*Just do it*~ Daine hissed.  
  
As soon as the pony was down, Daine curled up next to her. It wouldn't be abnormal for her to have stayed outside for the night. She'd done it enough when she'd lived here.  
  
"Daine!" She heard Alanna calling. "Are you here?"  
  
She felt some one tap on her shoulder and looked up. Alanna was standing over her. "Hi Alanna." She sat up groggily, which wasn't hard because she was still tired and asked, "What do you need?"  
  
Alanna sat down next to her. "I'm worried about you. You just up and left without an explanation to any one and Numair tells me you won't even talk to him. What's wrong?"  
  
"Alanna, I'm so scared. I'm scared to ruin his life," she confessed, even though Numair already knew. "He won't want me in a few years, I know it." She wasn't entirely sure she was wrong even though Numair had done a fairly good job of convincing her otherwise.  
  
"Daine, whatever is between you and Numair I don't care about right now. I want to know why you left. I want to know why you didn't tell me or any one else." Cloud got up and started to nibble lightly on Daine's arm.  
  
Daine looked up at Alanna helplessly. "I didn't want to see you react. I didn't want to see the drama, I just wanted it to happen. I didn't want everyone brooding over me."  
  
The lady knight just smiled and shook her head. "I suppose you're right if you look at it that way. I'm glad you're back." Alanna stood and held out a hand, helping Daine up. "You should talk to Numair. You have no idea how upset he was."  
  
"He was?" This would be a very good opportunity to see what Numair really felt.  
  
"It was almost instant. As soon as you left he went into a sort of solitary daze. He never did anything unless he had to, just locked himself in his room. He wanted to use every magic he could think of to find out where you were, but we made him promise not to. We all wanted to know, but if hadn't wanted us to you would have told us."  
  
Daine's heart did two things; it jumped and it sank. He really had missed her, but how could she have done that to him? How could she have ruined his life like that? He must really love her if he hadn't come to reality in a whole year. That should have been enough time. "I think I'll go talk to him."  
  
"Good." Alanna walked to the stables, obviously to talk to Onua and Daine went back to Numair.  
  
When she got there he was waiting for her. She stopped in the door, staring at him critically. Did he really miss her that much? He did look different, older than he should look. He was skinnier and he had lines under his eyes. It had been a rough year. He hadn't eaten or slept properly; no doubt her fault. "Numair."  
  
"Yes love?" He asked, not even standing up.  
  
"You really do love me don't you?" She was absolutely serious. She had to hear him say it himself. She needed to know that he would never leave her like she'd left him.  
  
"Yes." It was a simple answer, but all she needed. She didn't need him to pour his heart out; he'd given her the honest truth.  
  
She ran forward and threw her arms around him, snuggling in his chest, burying her face in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. How could he ever forgive something like that? And yet, he had. He had done it, no questions asked. "I love you so much."  
  
(A/N: Did you like it? Did you hate it? Do you have any questions/comments? If so, leave a review and tell me all about it. And remember to check out my other fics. I have more T.P., I have His Dark Materials, and I have The Last Unicorn. Thanks! ^_^ Peach!) 


	4. Chap 4 Just A Moment

Always And Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: T.P. owns all characters)  
  
Holding Numair's hand Daine walked into the dining hall. As she looked around, fear raced her body. She wished she could pull away and run but he had a tight hold on her. She was glad he was making her do this, because she couldn't make herself. Seeing everyone's faces made her want to cry. She walked staring at the floor, biting her lip.  
  
After what seemed to be an eternity they reached the head table and took their seats. Numair whispered something about that not being so bad, but she begged to differ. Her grip tightened on his hand for reassurance. People around her proceeded to small talk and she began to relax. Maybe she wasn't as big a deal as she made herself out to be.  
  
Then again most of the people at her table were her friends. They had no reason to publicly humiliate her. Maybe she could come back and things would just be normal. But maybe the people behind her that she didn't know were whom she needed to worry about. After all, they didn't know anything about her. Rumors could easily fly. But rumors were irrelevant to her. Since when had she cared about rumors?  
  
Someone tapped her shoulder and she looked up. Numair was staring at her. He had a slightly amused look on his face that infuriated her at the moment. "What is so funny?" She hissed quietly.  
  
He shrugged. "You just haven't touched your food or joined in any conversation. You seem distracted."  
  
"Well, I wonder why." She looked away sharply and put some rice on her fork. She wasn't hungry, but she forced the food anyway. During her thoughts she must have dropped Numair's hand. She searched under the table until she found it, and clung tightly. She heard him chuckle and continued eating.  
  
When she started to think she wanted nothing more than to throw herself off a cliff, dinner was announced officially over. Sighing deeply she got up, excused herself, and left. Numair offered her an escort and she accepted. They were going to the same place after all.  
  
He shut the door behind them and leaned against it. "Are you okay? Because I don't think you are."  
  
She had started toward the bed, but decided he was more comfortable. She stood in front of him, leaning up against his strong form. "I just don't know where to take it from here. I don't know what to say to everyone. What do they want me to say?"  
  
He turned her around and pushed the hair out of her face. A rush of warmth coursed through her at the look in his eye. He bent down and kissed her forehead. "They don't want you to say anything." He kissed her nose. "They just want you to be you." He found her lips. She nearly gasped at the passion concealed in them. "And stay."  
  
For the first time, she found herself rendered speechless, heart pounding in her chest. Numair seemed to know and kissed her again. Heat roared through her body; she threw her arms around his neck. His hands moved from her face, down her arms, thumbs tracing her breasts, and rested on her hips. She shivered and he pulled her against him harder.  
  
He lifted her slightly and walked her to the bed, laying her down and climbing on top of her. She did gasp as he started kissing her neck, nibbling gently. His hands moved to her blouse, which he unbuttoned slowly. She arced her back, pressing her breasts closer to him. As he continued to nibble, moving gradually downward she pulled up the shirt on his back. She was completely engulfed in passion as he continued his pursuit. But as he reached her breastband he pulled away, sitting up. She looked at him curiously. "Why'd you stop?" A tinge of hurt escaped in her tone.  
  
Numair pulled her up and held her against him. "I can't," he whispered. "You just got back. We need to start over, take it slow." He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I don't want anything to go wrong."  
  
"But it won't-" She started, but he hushed her, putting a finger to her lips. "Just wait," he whispered. Then he winked, completely breaking the mood. "Besides, things are always better when you wait."  
  
Daine could accept that. In all honesty she had gotten carried away. Accepting her promptness she curled up against Numair, wrapping herself in blankets. He placed an arm around her and she snuggled into him deeper. Content and comfortable she fell asleep.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Morning brought just what she knew it would. As she walked by groups of people they would stop talking and look at her. A sure sign of gossip. She let it glide right past her, choosing to appear ignorant. What they said was really unimportant in any case. She had much better friends than them that she needed to go see.  
  
None of the ponies had died since she'd arrived. All of them had been given enough strength to live until she could properly heal them. Her last set was today. She jumped into their separate pasture and fixed them one by one. Just after completing her last pony she looked up. It was almost nightfall; the sun was setting.  
  
She sighed and stood up. She hadn't eaten all day and she was hungry! Not to mention she felt like she'd been trampled. This group had been very large, but she'd just wanted to get it done. Now she was paying the price. She bid farewell to her patients and left, dirty and exhausted.  
  
Numair came to support her when she stumbled in their door. He picked her up and laid her on the bed. She soon felt a water cup being pressed to her lips. Grapping the cup, she drank greedily, refreshing her dry throat. Next came bits of dried fruit and nuts, which she ate. When finished she closed her eyes and whispered, "Thanks Numair," before drifting off early.  
  
Well guys finally that's chapter 4! What did you think? Go ahead and tell me by leaving a review. I really enjoy reading all of them. Even the flames (they help me improve). Now I can guarantee you that there will be no Chapter 5 until I have at least 22 reviews. I'm sorry my updates have been off, but my summer has been jam-packed. Thanks for understanding! ^_^ Peach 


	5. Chap 5 A Place Called Home

Always And Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: T.P. owns all characters)  
  
When Daine woke the next morning she found a tray of food sitting on the table. Next to it rested an expressed letter of apology from Numair. He'd had to leave to tend to some business and would be back by nightfall. She smiled and focused her attention on eating. The plates held assorted breads, cheeses, and fruit, all of which looked delicious.  
  
As she ate she wandered the room, looking around closely for the first time since her arrival. Nothing was different. Not a thing had been changed or resituated. It was as if he had been waiting for her to come back so they could resume life as always. Everything she'd left behind was just where it had been before.  
  
Daine also realized that she was currently walking around in just a shirt far too big for her. She smiled, silently thanking her love. Sleeping in breeches and boots would've guaranteed a late-night wake up. But, of course, he would know that. He knew everything about her. The thought scared and thrilled her both at the same time.  
  
A knock sounded on the door and she went to answer it, a piece of bread in hand. She cracked the door open and looked out. A serving maid stood outside with a roll of parchment. "Thank you," she told the maid before taking the letter and retreating back inside. Who would be sending her a letter?  
  
The seal enclosing it told her. The king. Quickly she opened it and started to read. It's contents made her frown. It was to tell her that because her duties were fulfilled, arrangements would be made for her safe arrival back home. She could have as many horses as necessary and would be escorted by a part of the Own itself.  
  
"But I don't want to leave," she thought out loud. Or, at least, she didn't think she wanted to leave. She grabbed more fruit and sat on the bed. Her saddlebags were still packed for the most part. She could always just grab them and leave. Part of her badly wanted to. But then, if she left, she couldn't come back. Ever.  
  
The thought of not seeing Numair again wrenched her heart. As much as she didn't want to, she loved him. If she left she would break his heart. It would break hers. The first time, it had felt like the right thing, but now somehow, it didn't. Now it seemed the absolute wrong thing. He was willing to put himself on the line and she should be able to do the same.  
  
Decidedly she put on breeches, boots, and her own shirt and marched out the door to see the king. He was in his office and she knocked on the door tentatively. She heard him call her in and walked inside. She shut the door behind her and turned around to face him. He smiled at her and motioned for her to sit, which she did.  
  
"So Daine?" He asked. "Will I be preparing horses and an escort for you?" The tone in his voice told her that he wanted her to say no. It seemed everyone wished she would stay.  
  
One last time, she thought about riding off in the sunset, but quickly shook the thought. "No Your Majesty. If it is okay with you I'd like to stay." Finally hearing herself say it almost made her cry. Her mind was so racked with indecision, but she'd finally made herself make one.  
  
She almost thought she saw relief cross Jonathan's face, but couldn't be sure. "Of course I would like you to stay Daine. I believe you've made a very wise decision. Shall I arrange for a room to be made, or will you resume your residence at Numair Salmalin's?" He asked the question, but he already knew the answer.  
  
"I'll be staying with Numair, Your Majesty," she replied. Just thinking about it made her happy. With all the things she was unsure of, there was one thing she knew; Numair Salmalin loved her.  
  
"Well then, I believe we're finished here."  
  
"Yes, thank you, Your Majesty." Daine got up and left the room relieved that that was over. Of course, talking to the king was never a problem; it was making herself do the right thing that she'd been worried about. But she'd done it and she was thrilled.  
  
Deciding that she had better inform Cloud she walked down to the stables. Cloud was where ever she wanted to be at the moment, so calling her was easier than looking. ~Cloud, where are you?~  
  
The reply was almost instant. ~In the woods. Where are you?~  
  
~The stable.~  
  
~I'll meet you there.~ Daine sat on an upturned bucket and waited. It wouldn't be long. Cloud never left people waiting; she thought it very rude. Which it was, though she seemed to do enough of it lately. A year was certainly a long time to make someone wait.  
  
Cloud came galloping across a field, jumped the fence, and stopped in front of her. ~I was sleeping quite contently. What do you want?~ Just like Cloud to be so direct. She really did need to learn the virtue of subtlety.  
  
Daine stood and pressed her cheek to Cloud's forehead, to avoid eye contact. Quietly she whispered, "I've decided to stay." The mare stood motionless for a moment, allowing Daine a moment only she could provide. They had always had a soothing affect on each other, and she thought her friend needed soothing.  
  
Then she moved her head slightly, pushing Daine away. Her human friend was forgetting something rather important. ~Then you may want to have someone bring your things.~  
  
Daine jumped backward. She'd completely forgotten that most of her things weren't with her. How would her friends feel when they saw her things being packed and taken? They didn't know she wasn't coming back. "That's right. I have to go, I'll be back later." The mare nuzzled her and she took off.  
  
When she got back to the room and almost tripped over her bags, she decided something needed to be done. Numair had gotten sloppy with his laundry and his clothes were stuffed randomly in their large dresser. She took everything out, refolded it and organized it the top three drawers. She occupied the bottom three with her things. She placed her toiletries by the washbasin and discarded her saddlebags. Now things looked much better.  
  
Next came writing a letter to the people she was leaving. They needed to know she wouldn't be returning. As she was writing Numair walked in. Noting what she was doing he glanced quickly around the room, not seeing anything of hers. "Leaving a goodbye note for me this time?" He asked, voice quivering.  
  
"Well, Numair-" she started. Instantly he interrupted her, "Daine, please don't go." His voice wavered as he continued. "I'm not going to make you stay... but I'd hoped you would." He stopped when he saw her laughing.  
  
She couldn't help herself. He was just so cute when he was being ridiculous. He seemed puzzled so she explained. "I'm not going anywhere silly." This seemed to confuse him even further.  
  
"But your things."  
  
"Are put away." She got up and grabbed his hands, entwining them with hers. "Everything's just how it should be." Relief washed his face and she smiled at him. He released her hands and engulfed her in his arms. She clung tightly, breathing in his smell, absorbing his touch. Now everything was how it should be. It was like she just... fit inside him. They were like a key in a lock; only one fits.  
  
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Numair answered it and motioned her to the door. A messenger waited outside to talk to her. "Good evening Lady Daine. I am here to inform you that a Sir Derwood is here to see you. He says he's from Penscott."  
  
Daine's heart fell. All her good spirits left. Why in the gods was he here? She thought she'd gotten Penscott out of her mind, and one of its inhabitants had come to see her. Why? "Tell him I'll see him in the council meeting room." She'd just left Penscott mere days ago, but it felt like a lifetime.  
  
When they were inside, Numair looked at her curiously. For once she couldn't tell what he was really thinking. "Sir Derwood of Penscott?"  
  
(A/N: Well, my dedicated readers, here's chapter five as promised. Did you like it? I hope so. Now, here's my new limit. Do you think you can handle it? 35 reviews. In a quick few comments chapter six will be yours, but not before that. Thanks, ^_^ Peach!) 


	6. Chap 6 Talents Where They're Best Needed

Always And Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: T.P. owns all characters.)  
  
Daine sighed, knowing she would have to give an explanation. She didn't want to; she didn't even know why Derwood was here. Numair cleared his throat and she began. "He's a friend of mine from Penscott. That's where I was for that year. But I don't know why he's here, so don't ask."  
  
Numair didn't seem quite all right with her going to see some strange person he didn't know, so she brought him with her. It was probably best that she bring him anyway. Derwood had had some kind of crush on her when she'd been living in his estates and had never understood why it was unreciprocated. Now he would know.  
  
They reached the council meeting room and Daine opened the door tentatively. A young man, few years older than her with blonde hair and striking blue eyes was sitting waiting. When he saw them he stood up and bowed slightly. Being polite Daine made the introductions and was nearly crushed by the tension in the room.  
  
Derwood looked at her and asked cautiously, "Would you mind if I talked to you alone?"  
  
Daine turned to Numair, a pleading look in her eyes. He submitted and left the room with a small grunt, making his dissatisfaction known. Daine rolled her eyes and returned her focus to Derwood. "Why are you here?" She asked.  
  
He stood and walked to her, stopping mere inches away. She resisted the urge to take a step back in fear of being rude. "Rumor has it, you're going to stay here," he said. She thought she may have heard slight hurt in the tone of his voice, and could understand why.  
  
She knew she had to tell him the truth no matter how much it might hurt him. "Yes, I'm staying here." This time she saw the hurt cross his face and started explaining. "I'm sorry, but there's some things here I just can't leave. You wondered why I couldn't love you," she paused. "I couldn't because I love Numair Salmalin. I came to Penscott trying to deny that and never could. He and this place saved me, and I could never leave that."  
  
Without even looking at her, he walked to the door. Before exiting he turned around. "I will arrange for your things to be sent here. I leave you with my love Veralidaine."  
  
As he left Daine was consumed with a wave of guilt. She slumped down in one of the chairs, head in her hands. Within moments Numair was behind her, rubbing her back. She lifted her head and looked at him. She knew he wanted to know why she seemed so upset. "I feel like I used him," She whispered. "He loved me. He gave me everything: a place to stay, money, anything I needed and he knew I didn't love him. Now I've just left him with no real kind of explanation."  
  
"He's not the only one who's lost himself to you. I don't think I could even count the many stupid things I've done on your account." He continued at her puzzled look. "I think nearly hitting the Emperor of Carthak could be considered stupid, just to name one example."  
  
Daine got out of her chair and wrapped her arms around Numair, holding onto him as tight as she could without seeming scared. He stroked her back, crooning softly. "I don't want to ever think about that place again," she mumbled into his shirt, nearly inaudibly. "I almost thought I would have to go home without you."  
  
She nearly screamed as he swept her up and started walking. Instead she just laughed and held him tighter, enjoying the ride. "I would never be anywhere without you on my own account," he whispered in her ear. She cringed as his lips grazed her skin; his breath played on her neck.  
  
I wonder how I ever could have, she thought. A slight pulse of guilt rippled through her body, but faded quickly. There was no use brooding over it. Everything was right now. Everything was as it should be.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
The lights were out and Daine was lying sleeplessly beside Numair. There was something she just couldn't stop thinking about. It had been haunting her ever second since she'd arrived. She knew all about the war in Scanra. Apparently it was serious, and yet, the kingdom's two greatest tools weren't doing anything. Well, they were doing something, but it wasn't productive to Tortall.  
  
She tried to forget it and go to sleep, but just kept tossing and turning. Eventually Numair woke up and asked her what in Mithros she was doing. "I can't sleep," she whispered.  
  
"Do you need some help?" He asked groggily. She nodded. He kissed her lightly. "Tell me what's bothering you."  
  
"Well, it's just about this--" she was interrupted as Numair's lips touched hers again. As quickly as they had come they were gone and he asked her to continue. And so she tried to, but before she could make any kind of point he would do it again.  
  
"It's just, I think we should be--" she started again, but was interrupted. His lips lingered longer this time, barely grazing hers. She lifted her face, searching for more. But as soon as she found it, he slipped away again, begging her to finish her story.  
  
She sighed and tried to finish, not really expecting to. "The war needs u--" and he did it again. Frustrated, she sat up, covers flying. "Numair! This is serious. Something is happening out there and we're just sitting around! We need to do something about it!" She knew how much of an asset to Tortall she was and she wasn't being used. She could turn this entire thing around if someone would just tell her to!  
  
Numair sat up too, though not so violently. Gently he brushed a stray piece of hair from her face, and stroked her cheek with a soft finger. "Daine, if the King wanted our help he would tell us. Right now, we're not what Tortall needs and things ARE being taken care of. You need not worry love."  
  
"But Numair, I could take this whole war into my grasp in one breath! They're wasting so much time and energy that they don't need to. I can't just sit here and feel right about it." How could she make him understand? There was no way she could just leave this in the hands of other people. She was trying to return to the true reality of her life and no one would let her. In Penscott she'd been selfish and irresponsible, she needed to take up the responsibilities of her gift once more.  
  
Softly, Numair laid her back down, holding her against him. "Relax for now," he whispered. "The country is in very good hands; hands chosen by the Chamber itself. You know her and need to trust her now."  
  
She thought about his words for a moment. Surely it wasn't Alanna because she was here. But there was only one other "her" that she could think of. "Surely you can't mean Keladry of Mindelan?"  
  
(A/N: Well here's a very late chapter six. I'm sorry I've been in and out of town, not to mention relationships and just haven't had any time to myself. Just to clear something up, Daine was not crying at the table, just thinking. Please review, I know this chapter is boring and not as good, but still tell me what you think. Thanks, Peach ^_^) 


	7. Chap 7 Start Of A New Day

Always and Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: T.P. owns all characters.)  
  
Daine had spent the entire day trying to figure out how a silly, magic less girl like Kel could possibly be the one person the entire country's plans were based on. Without an army to back her up, what could she possibly do, and in that situation wouldn't it be better to use Alanna, or another more experienced knight? It wasn't that she didn't like Kel -- she really did-- it just really didn't make any sense to her. What could one person do alone?  
Even Daine herself had needed help with everything she'd done. She certainly hadn't taken out Ozorne's entire empire alone. She'd needed the help of the previously deceased and the living to accomplish that. Kel didn't even have any kind of gift and wasn't God-chosen. Daine was both and they were telling her to leave something this huge in the hands of someone so much less competent?  
Maybe she was just jealous. She had left. She couldn't possibly come back and expect to be the center of the kingdom again, or not have been replaced. Not everyone was like Numair, not everyone could be. The kingdom had to move forward with or without her. As much as she now wished that she hadn't left there was nothing she could do about it.  
Frustrated to a degree of complete exhaustion she finally gave it up. The only thing she could do now was take the matter up with the king and see what he wanted her to do for him. Even if Kel had the battles of the war taken care of, Daine and her friends were still very useful for spying. Not to mention sabotage. If she could she would see to it that no camp in the border ever saw peace. A state of panic would sweep their camps as they wondered why the animals around them were suddenly mad.  
Deep in thought she didn't even notice Numair sneak up behind her. When he tapped her shoulder lightly, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Quickly, he tried to coax her; sorry that he had scared her, even though there was nothing he could've done about it. She tried to get him to stop apologizing and only achieved this after she had explained over and over that she was perfectly fine.  
Kissing him lightly she explained to him that she needed to visit the King and discuss the war with him. Intentionally, she skipped away from Numair quickly. The faster she got there, the less time he would have to stop her. Getting to his war chambers took no time at all and because of the current situation that's where she figured he'd be. Lightly she knocked on the door until she heard him call her in.  
He was sitting at the massive council table alone, surrounded by papers and maps. He seemed to have hit a wall. His proud face was dull and his figure gaunt. Guilt once again consumed her as she saw what she had run from. She should've been helping her country, not running around in the wilderness of Penscott. "Can I help you with something Daine?" He asked, looking up from hid work.  
She nodded, standing on the far side of the table. "Yes actually." He motioned for her to sit and she did so gladly. "I would like to offer my services to the country, Your Majesty."  
He looked at her harder, one eyebrow raised. "Well, I assumed they always were, I just thought I'd give you some time to settle in."  
She shook her head. "I feel like there is no time, sir. I'm getting restless just sitting around and as much as I love Numair's company I need something else to do. I would like to take myself and a small army of creatures inside of Scanra." She hadn't really thought about what she'd wanted to do, it had just kind of popped into her head. And why not, it would be fun.  
"I'm sorry Daine, but I can't let you do that. You need to stay here were it's safe. Send your friends and have them report back. Sending you into the center of the battle would be like sending me. There is just too much risk and too much to lose."  
Her heart sank. She was going to be stuck in the capital forever. She couldn't even escape to a summer home or fief because she didn't have one. Didn't anyone see? She needed to get out. "I know sir, but I can live in my animal form for as long as I choose, I would just never switch back. They can't possibly kill every animal in the area; food is low there anyway. I swear if I run into any kind of trouble, I will be sure to inform an ally and receive help. I have done far more dangerous things before. Need I remind you of the immortals war?" Daine felt her desperateness getting the better of her, but she couldn't help it. This was ridiculous.  
The king sighed. She hoped that was a sign that he had seen her reasoning. "Daine, I'll tell you what. Let me have a night to sleep on it and I will get back to you before noon tomorrow. Does that work for you?"  
"That would be wonderful. Thank you so much," she said graciously and left the King to his own more serious problems. Soon, hopefully, she would be out of the country, and doing something with a purpose. She did wish she could take Numair, but she knew she couldn't if she wanted to leave. He was just too big and tall. There was no disguising him as an animal without draining all of his strength. She just hoped he wouldn't be too upset when she got the okay tomorrow.  
Numair walked in as she was packing a pair of small saddlebags. "Going somewhere?" He asked casually. Daine was glad to see that the fear that his eyes had shown the first time he thought she was leaving him was not there. He seemed assured that she would not abandon him again.  
"Yes, actually." She was considering how to phrase what he said in order to keep a fight from following. "I believe that I will be going to Scanra with a small army." It must have sounded ridiculous she realized, but she had to go and he must've at least guessed that she would try.  
"And me?" He asked, forcing his voice to speak as if it didn't matter either way. She knew him better than that.  
Daine walked over and grabbed his hands, swinging them playfully. "I'm sorry Numair, but I have to go alone." It would be strange; she'd never been on a journey without Numair by her side. She didn't want to think about what could've happened on several occasions if she had.  
He pulled his hands from hers and placed them on her cheeks, cupping her face delicately. "I understand," he said quietly. A small gold locket appeared around his wrist and she toyed with it sub consciously. "I will always know where you are and I will always be there if you need someone."  
She smiled. "I already knew that."  
  
(Author's note: Well, there you have it, I have finally updated. I owe a huge thank you to CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88, who got me what I needed to continue this story. As you can see it is going in a new direction and the fluffiness is going to decrease momentarily. However, I feel that a story that is all fluff gets boring far too easily. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!!!!!!!!!!) 


	8. Chap 8 Once Again Alone

Always and Forever  
  
By: Midnight Maiden  
  
(Disclaimer: T.P. owns all characters)  
  
Daine sat wet and miserable in a complete downpour. The rain was destroying her entire camp, but she couldn't do anything about it. All she could do was huddle under the base of a tree, disguised as a mouse. She'd been hiding in the woods in Scanra for over a week and all of her work was being ruined. Even if she could clean it up, she would have nowhere for the papers to go out of the wet.  
She'd been granted permission to leave, as she knew she would and had set out immediately. The weather in this foreign land had been perfect until now, and it had been a blessing for her research. But once the rain stopped she would have to go to her secret supply stash and rewrite all of her reports. She'd found the creatures here to be quite agreeable and was using them to her full advantage. Birds and mice were easily used for work inside the palace and she'd discovered it to be a place she would rather not reside. The entire place was a complete political scandal completely operated on fear.  
If anyone in that castle were truly anyone's loyal friend she would leave Numair and go back to Galla. It seemed as though everybody's goal was outdoing somebody else and making themselves look better. She could find no mutual unity in the country at all. Everything was based on personal benefit and nothing else. Nobles were constantly trying to take favor with the king, and the royal family was obviously in an underlying battle for the throne. But the more scandals that went on within the palace, the more she had to her benefit. Disunity was so easily used against countries and this one was deep in it.  
Another good point that she could save for later use was life in the capital's surrounding towns. They didn't like the monarchy any more than she did. The townspeople had been struggling since the beginning of the war and it seemed as though no one was bothering to help them. The focus of the entire country was on the army and the nobles. Not a single thought was being given to the people that were trying to feed the soldiers and themselves. When the war was over this would have to be taken into account.  
Tired of worrying about the progress of war and hair splitting politics she shifted her mind homeward. The first thought that entered her mind was Numair. She missed him terribly and she knew he felt the same. He'd written her a letter, but it was currently outside being drenched. Fortunately she'd gotten to read most of it. She sighed and immersed herself in its contents.  
My Dearest Daine,  
Day by day I find my mind wandering always back to you. I'm reminded of the way your face looks right before you wake up in the morning and your nose crinkles when you laugh. All of these things I took advantage of until you left, and I now miss them even more than I ever could have imagined. Now I am always concerned for your safety and worry that you will not come back to and I will loose all these amazing things. I desperately need you by my side and am not used to letting you go anywhere without me. How can I assure your safety if I am not there? I am fully aware of your capabilities and know that you can take care of yourself, but it has still made me a nervous wreck.  
I hope for the war's end every moment of every day. Once this horrendous era is over you can return to the home that needs you. I am not the only one who misses you. Kitten has returned from her excursion in the dragon lands and was quite upset to find you gone for her homecoming. It took me hours to assure her that you would, in fact, be returning. I would not be surprised if she shows up in Scanra, she will not allow me to keep her from you long. I love you with all my heart.  
Return to me soon,  
Numair  
  
Daine smiled inwardly and would be blushing slightly if a mouse could accomplish that. Numair had always been quite poetic but she had never received anything quite like this. This letter was jammed with feelings and she was glad to have it. It warmed her to her very core, reassuring her that she was going about this for all of the right reasons. She needed to do her duty to the country that had so willingly adopted her and keep them safe. If being in Scanra alone for weeks outside accomplished this, then she would do it gladly.  
This brought her thoughts back to the war. Obviously Tortall was faring well or Numair would have told her otherwise. She tried hard not to send her messenger animals back and forth from the capital as it was a long journey, but she was desperate to know how things were going. She'd only received orders from the king and letters from Numair over her entire stay. She hadn't sent anything there and she wasn't about to now. To make sure that Numair knew that she received his letter she had sent a hawk to Corus with a blue ribbon.  
Resigning to the fact that her stay under the tree would be a long one, she shifted her mind towards sleep. Because of the animals she did not have a regular sleeping schedule and took any opportunity that she could to get some rest. It could be a few days before she had another chance to sleep deeply without the threat of dirty Scanrans looming in the backdrop of her mind.  
  
(A/N: Once again, I'm sorry that this took me so long to get posted. My life has been immensely stressful and I haven't had a whole lot of time to myself. Please leave me a review on this chapter as it took me a while to get it here and I want to know if my readers think that it is just as good as the others. Thanks ^Peach^) 


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